With UFC 197 and the season six premiere of Game of Thrones happening in the same weekend, we decided to have a little fun and pit your favorite characters from Westeros against each other inside the octagon! No swords, no magic, just mixed martial arts. Who’ll come out on top? Find out below!
Fight Night opens up with a non-title bout between Tyrion Lannister and Lord Varys. While Varys holds a significant size-advantage, the fact that Tyrion is the half-man means he has a low center of gravity and solid takedown defense. Neither is particularly athletic, so after a clinch battle tires them out in the first round, they’d probably agree to a battle of wits for the remainder of the fight. Both are intelligent and politically-savvy, but Varys once stumped Tyrion with a riddle.
Prediction: Varys by third-round verbal submission, Tyrion taps due to boredom.
In the co-main event, we get a women’s bantamweight championship fight between Daenerys Targaryen and Cersei Lannister. Cersei enters the fight after going through a difficult training camp that was interrupted by her “shame walk.” Khaleesi also had some distractions by having to fend off the Sons of the Harpy, but that only got her fired up. Cersei resorts to multiple eye-pokes to fend off Daenerys’ opening onslaught. Despite being docked a point for misconduct, Cersei starts controlling the fight from there. Before the fifth and final round Daenerys receives a pep-talk from her cornermen, who happen to be her dragons. Knowing she needs a finish, Khaleesi uses the lessons taught to her by Khal Drogo and swings for the fences.
Prediction: Daenerys by fifth-round head-kick knockout. After the fight, Cersei tries to abscond with the belt but is promptly incinerated by the dragons.
In the main event, we get a grudge match that’s been brewing for years as Jon Snow and Jaime Lannister face off for the welterweight title. Despite not being an actual Stark, Snow is fighting with a heavy heart to avenge the deaths of his father, stepmother and brother and the mistreatment of his sisters. Since the Lannister family is responsible for basically all of that, Jaime is pretty much on the defensive from the start of the fight. But Snow gets rocked by Jaime’s false hand, which is made of solid gold, and has to survive to make it out of the round. Samwell Tarly and Ghost the Direwolf do their best to help him recover in between rounds, but Snow is still not himself so he tries to use his grappling to buy some time. Jaime uses dirty tactics like grabbing the fence to avoid being taken down, but Snow is relentless and eventually gets the fight to the ground.
Prediction: Jon Snow by fourth-round ground-and-pound TKO. After the fight, Daenerys and her dragons return to the octagon, incinerating both Snow and Jaime and taking both championship belts for herself to become Undisputed Champion of Westeros.
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