As we enter another college football season, it’s time to take a look at some of our favorite team’s biggest supporters — their mascots. While they may be beloved, some of these costumes aren’t as cute and cuddly as the animals or people they represent. In fact, some of them are downright terrifying (or make no sense at all).
From Sparty to Sparky the Sun Devil, here’s a look at the 13 weirdest mascots in college football.
First of all, birds don’t have teeth! Louie the Cardinal is the real-life incarnation of Angry Birds, except he’s the one who holds the slingshot, probably firing humans into a bunch of random objects in hopes of breaking his personal high score.
Who let the dogs out?! Hairy Dawg, probably. The meanest bulldog in the nation is not to be messed with.
Sparty never misses a day at the gym and is the descendant of a Spartan warrior. Remember the movie 300? It was all based on Sparty; from the chiseled abs to the insane fight sequences to yelling, “THIS IS SPARTA!” All of it.
You remember the end of The Lion King when Pumba goes apes**t on a pack of hyenas? “They call me MR. PIG!” Yeah, Big Red is like that all the time.
Obviously a science experiment gone wrong, Willie the Wildcat has the head of a cat and the body of a human. Think about that for a second — all the evil schemes your cat is clearly plotting against you can now come true thanks to opposable thumbs.
Aren’t Deacons supposed to be the good guys? The Demon Deacon has been known to go cruising on his Harley late at night and put hexes on random strangers. This guy is clearly on the dark side and practices voodoo magic.
First, I’m compelled to point out Pistol Pete’s eerie resemblance to Burt Reynolds. That’s scary enough, but when you look closely at that shiny plastic face, it’s clear that this dude is certifiably weird.
You don’t need to have arachnophobia to be afraid of this creepy-crawler. Webstur is the type of spider that won’t be squished by a shoe or bug repellent. In fact, he probably inhales Raid when he wakes up in the morning. It’s going to take a team of exterminators to even attempt to get rid of him.
Those huge, soulless eyes probably turn you into stone if you stare into them for too long. Not sure what Purdue Pete needs that giant hammer for, but it’s obviously not for anything good.
Sparky the Sun Devil carries a trident and is obviously scheming on the low. I mean, he is an actual devil. Devils are bad. These are facts.
Yeah. Those eyes. That creepy grin. No thanks.
Seriously, what is Big Red? This red blob bears no resemblance to anything real. And who knows — could it actually be friendly? But right now it looks like Big Red goes around town and swallows people whole.
Mike VII takes the cake as our weirdest mascot because he’s an actual living, breathing tiger! Not a costume, but a real predator that is at the top of the food chain and rules the jungle. LSU has had real tiger mascots since 1936 (enter Mike I) as part of their School of Veterinary Medicine.
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