If you missed Redfest, aka Austin’s three-day music, comedy, and reality TV festival, then we completely feel your pain. But not to worry: Blue Collar Radio was there, and they covered everyyything. Blue Collar Radio‘s Mojo Nixon was on hand from Redfest ’14, where he brought listeners up to speed on all the Southern attitude they might’ve missed.

Jeff Foxworthy, “the father of Redfest,” joined Mojo last Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to trade barbs both having to do and not having to do with Redfest. Like, say, their mutual interest in Kellie Pickler.

Mojo: “Kellie Pickler was just up here before she went on. She was up here looking for you. She was all hot and bothered.”

Jeff: “That I wasn’t here? You know, she’s just a woman, Mojo.”

Mojo: “Well, you know, she said she loves a man of a certain age. And I said, ‘Well take a look at me.’ And she said, no I was too big. She said she likes a skinnier man like you.”

Jeff: “She’s not hard on the eyes.”

Mojo; “Oh no.. She’s a fine-looking female figure.”

Meanwhile, on Saturday, Larry the Cable Guy joined Mojo and Jeff. Much like Mojo and Jeff’s conversation, however, they didn’t hold back. Redfest performer Tim McGraw was a topic of conversation…

Mojo: “Tim McGraw is playing tonight…Is Tim McGraw getting too skinny? I think he needs to eat a sandwich. Can we give him, like, a hamburger or some barbecue, or something?

Jeff: “My wife was commenting on the shape he was in because you know the rest of us kinda…

Mojo: “…Make us look bad.”

Larry the Cable Guy: “Time McGraw can fall to his own butthole and strangle himself…He is a skinny man.”

Mojo: “He can tread water in a hosepipe.”

Whew! Again, if you couldn’t make Austin’s big festival (or if you just couldn’t get enough the first time), flip through the below photos below of all the guys living it up at Redfest, and click through the above Soundcloud clips to hear their, er, “commentary.”

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