Ugh, February. Not only is it always the dreariest month — and this year brings a particularly snowy hell for those of us living in the northeast and Midwest — but we also have to endure weeks of red hearts, cuddly bears and other soul-crushing symbols of consumer love. Eff that. Our music masters have put together a list of their very favorite anti-Valentine’s Day songs. Not to say we’re not all romantics at heart (sigh), but let’s get real, love can be a real bitch sometimes.

60s on 6:  Don’t Bother Me by The Beatles
“The first song the group ever recorded that was written by George Harrison, this was a big day for Harrison, and a great song for feeling sorry for yourself,” 60s on 6 programmer Lou Simon says. “‘I know I’ll never be the same if I don’t get her back again / Because I know she’ll always be the only girl for me.'”

70s on 7:  I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
Hands down everyone nursing a broken heart finds solace in this power anthem. Even if your response to your ex’s return would be more like “I loooooove you!!!” than Gloria’s “don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” you can find strength in knowing you will be okay no matter what.

80s on 8: Super Freak by Rick James
Love is for suckers. Rick James is all about the freaky deaky. No feelings required.

The Loft: You’re Breakin’ My Heart by Harry Nilsson
This song’s perfect for a big Eff you to whoever’s stomping on your heart.

Utopia: Better Off Alone by Alice Deejay
We’ve got one simple question for whoever broke our hearts: “Do you think you’re better off alone?” We doubt that, very much. But we are just fine. Jerk.

Hip Hop Nation: IDFWU (I Don’t F*ck With You) by Big Sean
If there’s one thing that Big Sean wants to make perfectly clear, it’s that he is over it. OVER IT! Even if he is looking at every single pic you post on Instagram with your new man and silent-crying into his smart phone. Focus, Big Sean, you got this!

Liquid Metal: Stripped, Raped and Strangled by Cannibal Corpse
“This is the PERFECT anti-Valentine’s Day song because no chick would want to hang out with you any further once she knows you love this song. She may even call the cops, but I bet they’re fans of this song too! George ‘Corspegrinder’ Fisher, the singer from Cannibal Corpse, always dedicates this song to the ladies in the audience! I’ll say this though … this song can have the opposite effect on some chicks and they may fall in love with you fast knowing you’re into THIS song!” – Liquid Metal programming director Jose Mangin.

Octane: Apocalyptic by Halestorm
“This song is about breakup sex,” says programmer Vincent Usuriello. Enough said.

Real Jazz: Meet Me At No Special Place performed by Mose Allison
“A hilarious break-up song,” says Real Jazz programmer Mark Ruffin.

The Joint: Brand New Second Hand by Peter Tosh
Burn one down, or just burn? You be the judge.

The Heat: No Love by August Alsina & Nicki Minaj
“August advises Nicki to look elsewhere for affection. Meanwhile, he’s too busy looking at her booty … go figure!” – Programming Director for The Heat Dion Summers.

The Pulse: No Good In Goodbye by The Script
If you’ve recently gone through a break up, this ditty will make you feel way better … or way worse.

Venus: No Boyfriend by Sak Noel featuring Kuba, Neitan and Mayra Veronica
“No boyfriend? No problem.”

Outlaw Country: Piss Up a Rope by Ween
Says it all: “I’m breakin’ my back, doin’ the best that I can/She’s got time for the dog and none for her man/And I’m no dope, but I can’t cope/So hit the fuckin’ road and piss up a rope.”

For a free 30-Day trial, check out http://www.siriusxm.com/fbtrial

Powered by WordPress.com VIP