We already knew they were best friends. Even if you don’t follow Mindy Kaling on Instagram (where she’s constantly posting pics with her former co-star), she is always talking about her close friendship with BJ Novak. We’ve heard all about how much she loves him but they are just not right for each other romantically (eye roll). But she got a little more real about the situation Monday morning on Howard Stern, giving a lot more detail about their romantic history.

Answering Howard’s question about whether or not she’s ever been in love before, Mindy gave an emphatic yes, but said it didn’t work out because “people are so different and you can overlap in certain ways that are important but not the ones that are most important.” She then went on to drop a ton of hints about who this mystery man was, including that they worked together when she was 24, he is currently her best friend, and he is “smart and funny,” before revealing what we all guessed: Mr. BJ Novak is basically her “one that got away.”

“I was so sad, not angry [when he broke up with me],” she confessed. “Sad-sad. That was the hottest I ever looked because I stopped eating. When I get depressed I stop eating. I was so miserable and I was so beautiful.”

Howard, of course, assessed that she’s still in love and would get back together with BJ if he asked. To which Mindy gave a very unconvincing “no.”

In Mindy perfection, she also spoke with Howard about all the things we love her for.

1) Like the media’s reaction to her weight: “I want to be one of the guys,” she said. “As a philosphy I want to be normal. But [the problem is when you eat like one of the guys], you look like one of the guys. I want to look like a dainty, f**kable bird. But also be able to eat as much as one of the guys.” Preach, Mindy.

2) Her early career before The Office when she wrote a pilot about herself and her friend: “We were in this room with much hotter versions of us. And we did not get the parts. We did not get the parts in our own pilot. I don’t make a lot of swings. But when I swing, I swing big. So I miss big.”

3) On her writing process: “I’m so unproductive. When I write nine hours by myself, eight hours is doing nothing. Pacing my house, figuring it out. Going online, looking at stupid websites, Googling myself, taking the trash out and one hour is productivity,” she said.

4) When NBC passed on The Mindy Project: “I have a huge ego … I have a lot of confidence, I think I’m a great writer. It was completely devastating. They didn’t even want to shoot it.”

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